Lana Del Rey is a lot like grape-flavored Jolly Ranchers. Everyone hates grape Jolly Ranchers because they don’t taste anything like grapes. But what if you dissociate the flavor of the candy and it’s assigned flavor completely? They don’t taste like grapes, but they taste alright…they taste like grape-flavored Jolly Ranchers.
Lana’s kind of the same way. She may be a totally fabricated identity, but once you surpass your anger at being so blatantly lied to, she’s not all that bad, whether or not she actually resembles the person she was assigned to be. She is her own new synthetic flavor of Jolly Rancher.
So yeah, I guess I like her. And grape Jolly Ranchers.
Grape Jolly Ranchers are horrible, but when you’re choosing between them and eating rocks, they’ll do.
Listening to Pitbull is a lot like eating rocks.
Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.